![]() I went sober, reduced information intake, spent two weeks on silent retreat, six weeks in a martial arts camp, two weeks diving deep into yoga and had two special experiences with mushrooms. It was a life of more: more armouring, more stimulation, more ego trophies, more intoxication. ![]() I was a caricature of masculine ‘success’: the ‘best’ grades, ‘best’ job as a lawyer, elite-level rugby, hedonism, modelling, bodybuilding. And there is no finer stage for testing my hypothesis than the black box. I have developed a thesis: life is at its most beautiful when we drop distractions and embrace the space beneath. However, if you pushed me for a reason, here goes. When I learned darkness retreats existed, the butterflies in my stomach were all I needed. Why would I voluntarily subject myself to conditions more intense than solitary confinement, the punishment dealt out for the most terrible of crimes? Why would I do so over Christmas, a time of celebration, connection and indulgence? First, I should note that I’m not a fan of reasons. WHY? Who I was and who I realised I’m not. You’ll understand why by the time we’re done. Following my experience, if you gave me two years to live, I’d elect to spend the first nine months in the dark. I thought that was intense until I heard that some Ayurvedic nutters do a whole nine months - a rebirth of sorts. In the Tibetan tradition, high-level meditators practise a 49-day darkness retreat. Legend has it that Bodhidharma, an ancestor of the Shaolin school I am a student of, became enlightened in a nine-year silent stint in a cave, which has been a favourite setting for many an advanced meditator. Ancient Egyptians, Colombians, Mayans, 15th century French mystics, Taoists, Tibetan Buddhists and Ayurvedics have all been onto it. Darkness retreats appear all over the shop as an advanced practice for spiritual discovery and healing. You may be surprised to learn that I’m not the only idiot to have tried this. While my days vary, I averagely spend five hours meditating (both sitting down and lying), four hours practising qi gong, three hours stretching, three hours in intuitive movement and trauma release (more on that later), and one hour eating and showering.Īt the recommendation of Kalki, the bloke giving me the prep talk, I evade the temptation to succumb to the only indulgence the darkness couldn’t deprive me of (relaxing in a gentlemanly way).Ī History of Darkness Retreats An artists impression of Bodhidharma, an early Buddhist who spread teachings in China In terms of activity, I can do whatever I want. The passing of time can be sensed through the subtle temperature fluctuations, the sound of roosters, and meal times. I don’t speak with anyone, although I can write and pass notes through the aforementioned cat flap in emergencies. Food is posted through a catflap-like contraption twice a day. It’s pitch black, so I have to feel my way around. ![]() There’s a bed, yoga mat, meditation cushion, table, shower, sink, toilet (sit down wees only!) and water dispenser. I will demonstrate how this motto enabled me to enjoy the easiest three weeks of my life, heal decades worth of trauma and enjoy a 17-day trip, courtesy of the DMT the body naturally produces after three days of light deprivation. When we do so, life is at its most beautiful. The most valuable skill we can develop in both the darkness and modern life is the capacity to relinquish distractions and sink into the space lying beneath. Next, I hone in on the core lesson - one with application far beyond the confines of the black box: embrace the space. First, I’ll talk about how it works, darkness history and my motivation for going in. Here, I’ll spill the gossip on my darkness retreat. While you suckers were nibbling on mince pies, I was living it up, isolated in a pitch black room in… Mexico. Yep, that’s how I spent Christmas and New Year. ‘Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.’ - Albus Dumbledore This is my account of what happened to my body and mind. Over both Christmas and New Year’s Eve I spent 21 days in a pitch dark room. ![]()
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